Take a good look, you'll never be the same again

I have now traveled to a different city in the state of Sao Paulo where I used to live, Americana. Don't even think about joking, an Americana in Americana, I have heard it all. I took the bus this morning from the bus station in Sao Paulo and was picked up by my Brazilian host parents Thais and Mauricio in Americana. It is so good to see them again!!! My family!!
I spent the afternoon hanging out with my host mom Thais, since she doesn't work on Fridays. We went to a new cafe/cake place called Formiguinha. It means little ant, because little ants LOVE sugar! I thought the name was very cute.
After eating the best passion fruit and chocolate mousse quickly followed by a mocha cappuccino we went to the grocery store and arrived home just in time to see my host sister Camilla. A little while later we went to my grandparents house to say hello. My grandfather Vo Zizo is taking Italian classes. My little brother Lucas has been in Italy on exchange since August and at the end of the year the whole family is going to go pick him up in Italy. They did the same for my sister Camilla who went to France and my older brother Thiago who went to Canada. So, my grandfather, Zizo, wants to practice his Italian with everyone he encounters and it is so funny!Ahh it feels so good to be back here!
We went out for pizza for dinner and then Camilla and I went to pick up some exchange students that were arriving at the bus station from Germany and Thailand. I saw my counselor Marcela for the first time since I had left. The kids were all so tired!
I feel so strange. Picking up the exchange students at the bus station brought me back to everything that I was feeling at the beginning of my exchange year in Brazil, and now on Sunday, I'm going to do it all over again. Its just so strange to be in that place, the place where it all began, the exact same place. The situation makes me think about how young I used to be, mentally. I have grown up so much since that day I stepped of the bus in Campinas, just like these kids did a few hours ago, its like I never was that other person. I am not as innocent or naive or reserved, introverted as I used to be, in fact I think I am almost the polar opposite of most of these qualities. I used to be afraid to talk to strangers, now I talk to everyone, everywhere, whether it be in line at the grocery store or the person that I have never met sitting next to me in class and I can't believe that I was ever that shy.
I know that experiences like spending a year abroad or going through something inconceivably difficult changes you but the changes that I see in myself now were never this clear to me until I saw these kids. If I, the person that I am now, were put into a room with the person that I was two and a half years ago I don't think that I would have recognized myself if I had not gone back to the exact same place and watched these kids step off the bus just like I did.
Seeing these kids is like a slap in the face. BAM this was you two and a half years ago. HOLY SHIT.
I was so shy and innocent back then I don't even think we would have been friends, I would have gotten bored. I had never skipped class, never broke the rules, never rebelled against my parents, never done something so bad I could have been put in jail... but I year later I would have done all of those things. I looked at the world through a hole the size of a pin.
This also makes me think about the changes I will go through this time around. This time it will only last for 6 months, which is not a year. But it is still a considerable amount of time, and I know I will change. I will be different. Will I still want the same things that I want now? How will it change my perspective of the world? I'm excited, but also terrified. What would you think if someone told you to take a good look in the mirror because you will never be the same person again. I happen to quite like who I am. I am proud of who I have become.
The funny thing is, it wasn't even in the plans for me to go to the bus station with Camilla to pick up these kids, but I am glad it is where I ended up tonight.